Sunday, January 14, 2007

Jesus Freak Tease

I was not the only cab driver this slow January Saturday night to be fooled by the family of ladies at the entrance to Golden Gate Park off Stanyan tonight. They stood there, on the edge of the road, one with a white scarf she twirled to and fro. Damn I get to just pick up and avoid Haight street, more than one of us thought as we pulled over and noticed their ecstatic smiles, energetic dancing and picket signs smattered with the likes of JESUS LOVES YOU, etc.

j-- flipped them off and screamed "Sheep!" at them.

I was not so angry, just gasped in amazement and went on my way.

Monday, January 8, 2007

Death through Botox

I heard the craziest story in the back of my cab last night - this very nice and polite mid-twenties red faced yuppy girl got in just wearing a long sleeved black and white dress, white heels. She looked like she might have just fought with her boyfriend - that kind of chaotic sadness. She was a GPS call, picked her up in the upper panhandle, and took her to a bar in North Beach. She was on the phone almost the whole time talking about how she would make out with a guy if she saw Steven but he would have to be cute, she wouldnt just make out with a dog, then she talked about girls at work, and that one of them has had a really hard life, and her dad was in jail, and how she really wanted to tell her about her dad, but she didn't. It turns out during the course of this conversation that her father was a plastic surgeon that performed a botched botox and his patient died, and now he is in jail. Its so messed up, she said, imagine going from making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year to making zero! She never mentioned what it must be like to be in jail. Or to have killed someone through plastic surgery - although its not really plastic surgery is it? Then she said its 'karma' for being such a selfish bastard. It turns out he has had a hidden wife and two daughters her whole life who she has never met. I think thats really common among the rich. You would have to have a lot of money to have more than one family doesnt it seem like?

I got this great numerology reading from this guy I picked up on Van Ness and Market with a long sleeved t-shirt on his head. Not little edie style at all, just loose and casual with one of the sleeves just hanging off to one side over the shirt he was wearing. I asked how he was doing and he answered 'challenged'. I said 'that sounds important' 'life brings changes and changes are hard - this isnt supposed to be my seven year this is supposed to be my nine year - are you into numerology?' 'well i dont know that much about it, but i did choose my cab today on the number - 231' '2 plus 3 plus 1 is 6, that symbolises teaching, nurturing, harmony'.

That sounded like a great combination for a low-maintenance cab. He told me a bit and that about him and his convoluted (to my ears) it sounded like saturn returns to me. He doens't know very much about astrology he told me. His friend gave him a birthday card with some numbers one year and he has been reading books about it ever since. He told me that according to my birthday I am a five which represents freedom thats what i live for and I create alternative ways of living so that i can achieve that, also that i need to be careful of that, i can be easily addicted to the world and whats in it. That this is my year to do something new and be successful at it.

I felt like I should tip him.

My fun before work saturday - check it out: beachimpeach

another dorky action that feels futile but its better than sitting at home and fretting about the state of the world I guess.

It was put on by a fellow San Francisco Cab driver.

I dragged my mom to it. Its probably the first even sort of mellow beach action she has been a part of for a very long time. The people we layed next to were two very elderly ladies in chairs that were smiling and laughing a lot. A very involved middle class lady and her teenage son that was really into it even though he sat shyly on his hands the whole time. An older hippy mom who was at another rally at Ocean Beach many years ago when Nixon was inaugerated. Her mom had dragged her their. And she had always dragged her kids to rallies. They are too old to drag to anything anymore.

Monday, January 1, 2007

Drunken Zombies Arms Outstretched

Aah New Years eve - Its all like a crazy dream. I felt like I was in a video game - imagine hoards of drunk zombies arms outstretched running towards you screaming. In my two years driving I have never been so busy in one shift.

I tried so hard to take care of myself, went to yoga that morning, brought some food and water and still by the eighth or ninth hour I was screaming "c'mon bitches get in" and "get the fuck out of my way old lady! "

Even out in the most residential neighborhoods, there were people on every block screeching, crying 'take me take me'. J-- had a young drunk teenager moon her for not picking him up, and I had countless barbies and kens pounding on my hood and jumping in front of my car.

My favorite fare of the night was the fabulous African American queen in a white three piece suit that I picked up at midnight oh two. He had just done a James Brown tribute at Marlenas (my local gay bar) and I was blasting disco - he gave me a high five and asked if he was my first fare of 2007. "yes Queen, you are!" and we just screamed and hooted and hollered all the way to the Castro out the windows as I pondered the auspiciousness of my first fare of the year.